How I wish I could relive my Centering Pregnancy sessions again. I found a document on my computer from September 2013 that recapped my first time and thought I would share. The words I wrote about Session 3 are what pull me back to filmmaking. I really feel like I need to combine my love for maternal health with my passion for documentary work and show teen pregnancy in a neutral light. I have a film project in the works right now that discusses just that, and I can't wait for all of it to come together!
Today was my first experience volunteering at a centering pregnancy group in Durham, North Carolina. The group was on session three: managing stress, the dream family, and the pros and cons of breastfeeding. I found as an observer that the participants were twenty or under, two girls had already had a baby prior to this pregnancy, and about three of the participants, out of ten, had supportive partners (boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife).
The centering group began with a discussion of the ideal family. What was your family like? How were your parents? What would you change about your childhood? How do you want your baby to feel in his or her family? It saddened me that a majority of the young girls described their ideal family as one that was nowhere near their own. As I reflect on this segment of the discussion, I know that I admire my parents and I’m pretty sure that my sister and I turned out well. I can only hope, really, that my parentings reflects what I learned from my mom and dad. To hear the opposite from the participants really shocked me.
The group as a whole was very naive and innocent, which was also surprising, especially coming from the two girls with previous pregnancies. They were scared. The idea of labor to the new moms spread a look across their faces similar to those seen on a young girl’s face in a horror film. They were nervous. Some thought that the right choice was a baby, and it was obvious, but others really knew that this was something they couldn’t handle. They were curious. Shy to ask questions at first, but eager to learn and make decisions for herself and the baby. One girl, who was seventeen and pregnant with her first (it’s a boy!) sat close to her mother during the discussion. I felt happy for her because of what looked to be a strong support system emerging from her household. She decided with her boyfriend that she would stay at home with the newborn with the help of her mother while he worked a full-time job. Damn, I thought. They really have it all figured out.
As the discussion continued, the group moved on to the topic of breastfeeding. Is breastfeeding really a healthy choice for your baby? What are the alternatives? How can my partner help? I really got a laugh out of the boyfriend’s responses: “Please, please tell her what this stuff is leaking out so she’ll stop asking me about it,” or “I’m so glad I’m not breastfeeding…wait. I mean, I don’t have boobs, but I still think about it. That’s okay, right?” Each girl decided that breastfeeding was the best option, because formula can get pretty expensive, and breastfeeding also establishes a unique bond between mother and baby.
Finally, as the group came to a close, the midwife in charge asked us all to hold hands and stand in a circle. She asked each participant to share one reason why they decided to choose to breastfeed, and why they were excited. Hearing and seeing each girl, for just a couple of seconds, really light up about the conversation of their baby made my heart just…happy. Seriously happy. Yeah, maybe the pregnancy wasn’t desirable or planned. Yeah, the partner might not be that involved. Yeah, the parents might be disappointed. But in that moment, holding hands in a small circle with ten pregnant girls under 20, I understood the glow. It occurs when soon-to-be mothers talk about their babies. It happens when you see their hand fly to their stomach, quick to share their son or daughter’s recent movement. It shows when they announce the name of their baby-to-be. After I left the session where we discussed breastfeeding and the ideal family, I felt eager to return to the group and I now find myself excited to catch up with the girls when October rolls around.
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